It’s another first of the month (how is it already August?!) which tends to bring on a new “challenge” for me. In June, I experimented with something different. I focused on my mind instead of my body and tried for a No Negative June.

Negativity is so easy, isn’t it? I’ve noticed how go-to  gossip and complaining are (for me and likely many others) in conversation. To talk trash or gossip can easily become our social crutch when we feel we don’t have anything to say or are just getting to know someone. It takes more effort and thought to talk about something deeper than just complaining.

I still fall into this trap even after my No Negativity June. When I’m stuck in an awkward silence, I feel myself scrambling for a bit of recent gossip or a complaint forming on the tip of my tongue.  

In the end though, I realize these conversations don’t add much value to my life or relationships. I want conversations that are both positive and that make me think harder or in new, brighter ways. I want depth and substance. I want them to be a reflection of my values and who I want to be.

It was effective to be conscious of this in June and I am really trying to maintain mindfulness here. It is important that my conversations – the stories I tell, the jokes I laugh at – and the information I absorb – the people I engage with, the news I read – serve me well.

Stay tuned and eat your greens.

** Note this blog went through a rebrand and is now veg vibes; which aligns better with the direction I organically gravitated towards. It’s all about your vibe **

My No Negative June is coming to an end and it has been hard to remain positive over the past few days; granted this is because of an injury that has left me feeling pretty helpless.

This past Saturday Mike and I went for a bike ride and, as we were riding downhill, approaching a red light,  I face planted off of my bike and onto the street. I was putting my water bottle away when I noticed the red light and – because we were going down hill – I nervously tried to reduce my speed. The problem was I only used my left hand/break which caused my front tire to stop but not my back. The next thing I knew I was facedown in the street with blood gushing out of my chin.

Luckily an officer was nearby and she stopped to help us. Unluckily, I don’t have insurance until July 1st (tomorrow) since I recently changed jobs. This means all of my medical expenses have to be paid out of pocket.

The officer who stopped was really sweet. She called the fire department and EMT because I think my injuries looked a lot worse than they were. When I see (or hear or think about) blood, I become very nauseous. Since my chin was bleeding I felt very faint but I didn’t feel like I had a concussion or anything too serious. Nonetheless, the officer thought it was best to call for medical assistance. Up until this point I was relatively calm but as soon as one of the first responders came and told me I would likely need stitches – and I remembered I didn’t have insurance – I started freaking out.

The first responders took my blood pressure and were concerned because it was so low. They wanted me to take an ambulance to the ER. I immediately thought about all of the expensive ambulance bills horror stories I’ve heard and started to cry. There was no way I was getting in an ambulance without insurance.

The fact that I had just been involved in an accident – and was still bleeding – but had to be concerned about medical bills and insurance is disappointing. It astounds me that we don’t have a publicly funded healthcare system in America…

Luckily Mike was able to get a hold of a friend who graciously came and picked me up and took me to an Urgent Care nearby. Mike stayed with our bikes until our other close friends were able to come and get him.

At Urgent Care I had to pay $150 for the office visit alone and an additional $350 for stitches in my chin. A $500 bill! Thankfully I can afford this unexpected medical bill but truly feel for the folks who would have been put over their financial threshold because of one doctors office visit.

The doctor and staff were thankfully very understanding of how nauseous I become around blood. They even put on some “spa” music while the MD stitched my chin, while the nurses held my hands throughout the procedure. Mike & I chuckle at the site of mellow music playing on an iPhone nearby and both my hands tightly clinging to the nurses for comfort. As you can probably tell, I am a bit of a baby when it comes to these kinds of things and might be perceived as melodramatic… No matter, I’m just grateful for a gracious medical team!

I left Urgent Care a few hours later and quickly realized that my chin was actually the easiest thing to deal with in comparison to my other injuries. I had also scrapped my palms, forearms, knees, and maybe bruised my ribs? And while they were surface level wounds, my palms made a lot of things difficult to do Including bathing and brushing my hair; two things I like to do daily. Thank goodness for living with your boyfriend who can help you bathe and neighbors who will brush and French braid your hair… My ribs were better after a day or two but it was hard to sleep – because any movement cause rippling pain – those first few nights.

I am lucky to have Mike who helped me a lot while I recovered. And family and friends nearby. My mom and stepdad came over the day of my accident and brought me flowers, Neosporin, and pineapple (the doctor told me pineapple helps with inflammation). Our friends Sam, Shelby, Conor, and baby Owen spent their Saturday afternoon in the waiting room after driving me and Mike to Urgent Care (not to mention Shelby’s daily text messages checking in on me and making sure I am okay).

Aside from having a good supportive system to help me while I heal, it has been a painful and frustrating few days. Tomorrow is the start of July and this experience has put a kink in my project of No Negativity this month. I am trying to keep things in perspective and realize 1. my injuries could have been a lot worse and 2. I will, of course, be better soon. The one thing I can’t shake is the sadness that comes with realizing our “system” is not set up for people who don’t have insurance or close friends and family nearby.

It’s been a little over a week since I’ve started my No Negativity June and I’m actually surprised at how easy it’s been. It seems that just becoming more mindful of negative talk has already proven to be a big part of the solution. Once I had a mind shift and recognized I wanted to be better at engaging in worthwhile conversations, it came pretty naturally.

Of course, positive reinforcements are welcome; which brings me back to last Friday…

(First, some background information:) A while ago, Mike and I saw the movie Everest and it sparked a major climbing fascination for us. We started watching climbing documentaries on Netflix and Amazon. One of my favorites being Meru. Like with many good documentaries, after watching Meru, I was bombarded by eager curiosity. As the credits were rolling I promptly started googling everything about the movie. I learned about the personal lives of the cast, followed a few on Instagram, and, in the months after, recommended Meru to many, many people.

I’m not a hardcore climber but there is something so fascinating about the sport to me. I soak up facts and stories about summits like a sponge filling itself plump with water. So, when I found out Conrad Anker – one of the 3 mountaineers that summited Meru in the film – was coming to give a talk at Google, I was beyond stoked.

Since the talk wasn’t in my building, I figured I would just live stream it. Last Friday I logged on to watch from my laptop but couldn’t quench the need to be there in person. About 5 minutes into Conrad talking about Everest (he’s also summited Everest 3 times) I decided to bike over to the building the talk was in. I don’t think I’ve ever rode faster across campus! Out of breathe and a little sweaty, I quietly entered the room and stood in the back for the remaining time Conrad spoke.

I was filled with such inspiration during and after the talk. An inspiration I’ve felt before when diving deeper into the world of sport.

Let me back up quickly. Mike is a triathlete and I often accompany him to races. And while it is unlikely I would ever participate myself, I love going and feeling the good vibes of the race. Time and time again, racers prove to be encouraging, compassionate, and, of course, hard working.

During Friday’s talk, Conrad spoke mostly about Everest, making a few jokes here and there. He didn’t mention anything particularly moving or inspirational. There was no grand story with a strong moral neatly woven within it’s sentences. Instead, I was inspired by his overall plain kindness. He was so positive (and in a month of No Negativity, this was a good thing to see!) and seemed generally happy.

Conrad’s talk and the positivity I’ve experienced at tri races got me thinking how great it is to immerse yourself in something good and meaningful; something you care about and that makes you radiate happiness when you speak about it. For Mike, it’s triathlons; for Conrad, climbing; for me, writing and living a compassionate life. Whatever it is for you, be sure to dive in!

Stay tuned and eat your greens.

** Note this blog went through a rebrand and is now veg vibes; which aligns better with the direction I organically gravitated towards. It’s all about your vibe **