I had a tentative goal to finish my mat leave roundup posts around the time Mike went back to work from his leave or before summer was over. We’ve blown past these two things! Cam is now a big kindergartner and Kenna has actually started at her own little school/day care. She’s 9.5 months (which feels like a big deal to be bc of the whole 9 months in / 9 months out trend) and I have other things to post about, like our trip to Tahoe, Toronto, and Napa, but I know I’ll want to come back and read about my final month of maternity leave ever!!! So with my shorthand notes and pictures on my phone as a guide…. Let’s go back.
May
My last month of leave with my baby girl!! Unlike with Cam, when I go back to work, Mike starts his leave so I feel mostly comfort knowing he will be with her everyday and she isn’t going straight to school just yet. (Cam also didn’t go to daycare at this point but we were still in covid so my mom was able to “join our bubble” and watch him at our house, which I absolutely loved.)
We have a trip to Hawaii to look forward to in the middle of the month but until then, I am soaking in my lazy days at home with Kenna. The days blurb together in a way but somehow the weekends are still treasured. Even though I’m not working, there’s still that Friday feeling, you know?
Kenna continues going to PT once a month.. Between Kenna crying and her Physical Therapist hustling through what feels like hundreds of exercises to do daily, I find the sessions completely overwhelming. This babygirl does not seem to be interested in rolling over but physically she is able to do it.
It’s hard to believe I’m going back to work in a few short weeks! The ~6 months away have been a journey. My recovery wasn’t as straightforward as I thought it would be and that caused a lot of frustration, tears, and worry. Breastfeeding was a bit touch and go but we mostly maintained our rhythm. There were certainly a few dreadfully tired nights – the hardest being when she just wouldn’t go to sleep at all – but they were few and far, which I’m so thankful for. Sleep is >
Kenna and I spent a good amount of time on the couch – her sleeping soundly in my arms, me watching episode after episode trying not to move much. These endless hours of TV time depict something that happens often in parenthood that I am never quite ready for… something that completely consumes your days can suddenly vanish without warning, leaving you missing those days forevermore. I think most of the time this phenomenon is talked about with cuddles, bedtime stories, and other sentimental things but I might cry if I think about all of those! So here is a list of the shows/movies we watched 🙂
Ballers – Mike and I watched this one right when we got home from the hospital; there is just something about “the show” you watch in those newborn days (do I feel like Dwyane Johnson was in the trenches with me this time around? …maybe).
Glamorous on Netflix – this series was so cute. I can’t believe I hadn’t watched it before. Also Kim Cattrall? Icon.
The Six Triple Eight with Kerry Washington – loved this story.
Joy on Netflix – also a good story.
Rewatched Bethenny Getting Married? and Bethenny Ever After – this is revealing a lot about me but I’ll own it; (1) I love shows from that first decade of reality TV, like Laguna Beach and Newlyweds, because they don’t feel as trashy (2) I like Bethenny! Mike makes fun of me for this but he’s dealt with it for over a decade now (The Big Shot with Bethenny was another one I loved)
The Americas narrated by Tom Hanks – I love a good nature documentary.
Overall, during my leave, wins for me felt like:
a made bed (preferably early on in the day)
staying on top of the dishes throughout the day, or at least having them all in the sink
having “French dinner music” playing in rooms throughout the house, Taylor Swift and Noah Kahn were also big hits
HAVING THE WINDOWS OPEN!!!! I can’t stand being in a house with the windows closed, esp when I’m in it almost 24/7
Getting out on a walk (extra points for the “long loop” but I was happy with anything really – done is better than perfect, right?)
It was hard when:
the house was a mess and ! was thinking more about what had to be cleaned than being present with my kids
I already talked a lot about this but the pain and healing was just so challenging
little things like my glasses being dirty or my hair being in my face would agitiate me SO much while I was breastfeeding and not able to move freely (it was like a crash course in embodiment sometimes!)
days were my supply dipped, even though I had a stash of frozen breastmilk and sd=he took formula from 3 months
A few closing notes… I found myself comparing this journey to Cam’ being a’s newborn days a lot, particularly when it came to my body and what is was doing. Maybe this is normal, maybe it’s torture?
The support we received in those early days/weeks was so cherished. Especially all of the food friends delivered that trailed on through Christmas. We were so grateful for every single meal.
Overwhelming my months with Kenna were just so incredibly precious. I’ll always treasure the weeks that it was just us during the workweek. Lazy jammy mornings. Long walks. Cuddles. Her laughs and lightning-fast movements. Her interest in things; her quiet way of taking in the world around her. Her little smirk. Every picture and video I have of this time is cherished and will be browsed upon often. It is so true that they are only that small for a blink.
MY GIRL!
Read about [Nov + Dec] here, [Jan + Feb] here, and [Mar + Apr] here.
It is still cold in California. With all of our time indoors, we try to get serious about physical therapy for Kenna, who seems to be developing plagiocephaly (a flat spot). Now mama and baby are both in PT and it’s tummy time and pelvic floor exercises are daily. You know, the fun stuff!
Tummy time!
Kenna is just over 3 months, which feels huge; the 4th trimester finito. She is grabbing for toys and bringing them close to her mouth. She coos a lot and I am in love with it. I’m starting to go on daily walks with her, which seems a little challenging because we are limiting the amount of time she spends in “containers” (anything she sits in like a carseat, bouncer, or stroller) but a walk seems vital to my mental health. Off we go! Just like with Cam, I absolutely love this time of my mat leave. I feel like I could contently walk along with my little babe for hours but limit it to 30-45 minutes a day. 🙂
A sleepy walk
Kenna consistently has one bottle a day, which gives me some flexibility but also creates the complexity of pumping. I’m glad she’s able to take the bottle without much fuss though. Another big development is her trying and being okay (!) with formula. We tried to give Cam formula when he was six months and he said no way. The original plan was to wait until 6 months with Kenna but instead we tried 2 oz at ~3 1/2 months. She gulped it down like nothing was different which was both a relief and …a bit of an ego hit.
We’re starting to explore local restaurants as a family of four. With two small kids, meals are marathons but we typically go early enough to avoid crowds. Mostly because that works best for our schedule but I like the added perk of being in and out before anything gets busy. Notably Kenna and I also go and visit daddy at his office one day for lunch. These are the sorts of things we weren’t able to do with Cam because of the pandemic.
On the healing front, despite starting PT and mentally feeling better about things, physically I am still in daily discomfort. I talk to my new MD and she theorizes using an estrogen cream might help given levels remain low after labor and delivery. I start it and cross my fingers for some relief.
Towards the end of the month, Cam turns 5! Ah. I found out I was pregnant with Kenna 3 days before Cam’s 4th birthday. We celebrate with a park birthday and Kenna sleeps the whole afternoon. Despite some strong winds, it is a great afternoon celebrating Cam.
Kenna is almost 4 months and goes to sleep within 30 minutes of when Cam does (between 7-8pm) and sleeps until 1am. She wakes up for a feed and then back to sleep until 5am for another feed before one last quick doze; usually waking from the day around 7 or 8am. She is always ready for her first nap within an hour of waking up. The rest of the day is starting to fall into place, with her napping around ~8am, ~11am, ~2pm, ~4pm but sometimes it is still a little ad hoc depending on how long she sleeps for.
Every Friday, Kenna and I pick up Cam from school “at the gate” when he is out for the day (vs. sending him to extended care). These few hours are pretty tiring with both of them but also so cherished. We go for ice cream or to the library. Sometimes we just come home and snuggle. No matter what we do, I love this time with both of them and it is a nice way to sail into our weekends.
Library days are some of the best
Towards the end of March, we take Kenna swimming for the first time! It is a logistical quest for maybe 10 minutes in the pool but it was worth it. She seems indifferent to the water but looks so darn cute in her little bathing suit!
A tiny baby wet suit
April
It’s spring break for Cam! It’s starting to get a little warmer out so we can spend some time outside. Fresh air is just a reset button for kids, isn’t it?
We are still going strong with tummy time and PT for Kenna. She is getting stronger but might still need a helmet for her little flat spot. We’ll see.
More tummy time after mom makes the bed
My grandparents visit again and I am feeling much better physically than their last visit, 6 weeks after Kenna was born. It is Easter weekend and there is a small egg hunt that my grandma and I take the kids to in a nearby shopping plaza. It is such a fun afternoon skipping around looking for eggs and treats, even scoring a free popcorn and movie ticket at the local theater.
Laughs with Great Grandma
Like when Cam, we decided to sleep train Kenna at four and a half months. Unlike with Cam, instead of both of us being miserable and listening to her cry – we divide and conquer. Mike stays in the house the first night while I am outside with the neighbors having margaritas! He says she cried for ~25 min and then falls asleep. I’m so glad I didn’t have to hear her little sobs and that first night seemed to be the worst of it. She puts herself to sleep in under 10 minutes for naps and bed after. Whoo hoo!
some self pampering now that we know how to put ourselves to sleep 🙂
Mike’s parents come for another visit towards the end of the month. It’s nice to have extra sets of hands for a week. Mike and I sneak out on a date night. My aunt, uncle, and cousin come down to watch the kids so we can take Mike’s parents to a play – which is such a treat! With Kenna going to sleep consistently, I don’t feel too nervous leaving her because we are able to put her to sleep before we leave.
Kenna tries some oatmeal for the first time and seems pretty happy about it. I love giving babies food so I am really excited about this stage and all of the new things she gets to explore.
Nom nom little one!
I only have about one month of my leave and I can’t believe I won’t have all of the hours in the day to cuddle my little girl and to enjoy our slow mornings, afternoon walks, playtime, feeds, and giggles. My little baby!!
It’s a new year! Our house hasn’t yet recovered from the Christmas chaos. Cam is still on winter break. I have my 6 week postpartum check up and, despite still being in a lot of discomfort, the doctor says my stitches have dissolved and everything looks good. Huh… But I’m still experiencing a lot of soreness. “Is that normal?”
“Not really… But everything looks fine.”
I think I need a new gynecologist…
My grandparents come for a visit to meet Kenna. For how uncomfortable I am – and because I’ve abandoned my pain meds, tired of taking them when I want to be back to normal – it’s far too early to be hosting. We edge our way through the weekend but I break down a few times and I don’t think anyone really knows what to do with that. Maybe there needs to be a pre-visit checklist moms fill out before anyone comes over so people know how to offer the right kind of support.
Great Grandma
Great Grandpa
Even though I’m not where I want to be in my healing, I am thankful everyday for Kenna. Ugh. She’s so cute. She still has all of this jet black hair and it makes me laugh when people ask who she got it from?!
I look at my husband and his black (well, now salt and pepper;) hair and smirk, “hmm.. I don’t know!”
The cutest little avocado!
Mike goes back to work and Cam back to school the first Monday of the month. My grandparents watch Kenna so I can volunteer in Cam’s class and I’m thankful for their visit.
The year is starting it’s rhythm. Kenna and I spend a lot of time inside. She’s a snacky little eater and I am feeding her almost every hour. It’s hard having a tiny baby in the winter without much daylight and time outside but I really love TV 🙂 and she sleeps most of the day, so it’s a cozy time. We have a lot of those ooey gooey contact naps that make your heart melt even though your body aches because it has been in the same position for hours.
We go bowling and out to lunch with close friends – it still feels so crazy we are allowed to take babies places! Cam didn’t go anywhere aside from our house, outside, and the doctor’s until he was over a year old.
Big bro bowling
I also adventure up to the city with both kids to visit a friend, while Mike does an all day house project. We have a blast strolling through the streets and checking out a rooftop patio and a nearby beach spot. Seeing your friends with your kids is so special.
Kenna is starting to smile – it’s as cute as when Cam gave his first little grins years ago. Cam is the best with her and asks for “Kenna cuddles.” He copies us too and says things like, “oh girl! you are soooo cute!” or “hi, girl! oh we love you!”
Around 8 weeks we hit a sleep milestone. Kenna is no longer our little late-night sidekick. She’s shifted her bedtime to around 8pm vs. 10pm/11pm when we go to bed. It’s nice to have a few hours solo now but it also means we’re getting even less sleep since the majority of her longest stretch of sleep (~5 hours) is while we are still awake. This means instead of a nice 5 hour sleep, we’re back to only 2-3 hours each night. Her nighttime witching hours have seemed to subside though.
I’m still in a lot of discomfort so book another physical exam with my gynecologist. Everything looks “fine” so I feel crazy and like maybe I will always feel like this. If they don’t know what is wrong, how will it get fixed….? Luckily she refers me to a pelvic floor physical therapist and I’m relieved with at least a Next Step but decide to get a new doctor nonetheless.
I have friends over for takeout one stormy night and I think I scare them with my birth story and how tired I am. They are all sweet and kind and ask lots of questions and take turns bouncing Kenna in her rocker so I can eat my ramen and drink my one beer without interruption. As a favor, they take our trash bins to the curb when they leave so we don’t have to go out in the rain. I am so thankful.
February
The cold weather hangs around and Kenna and I spend a lot of time on the couch. I have a lot of pictures (but never enough) of all of her contact naps. Ugh. She’s so cute.
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I start to do yoga a little bit more – aiming to roll out my mat at least once a day the literal minute after she goes down for a nap in the snoo. There is always a lot to catch up on around the house (dishes, laundry) and I know I can easily miss my window for some movement if I get swept up in chores. Kenna’s naps are inconsistent and she sleeps better on me but we’re trying to get used to sleeping solo here and there. Nothing rigid though. She’s too small and precious for rules.
Cam has ski week in the middle of the month and I’m alone with the kids during the day while Mike works. It is daunting. Kenna’s lack of schedule and Cam’s requirement for constant play make things a bit challenging. We spend a lot of time curled up in Cam’s room, which feels a little more contained than the living room / kitchen and, importantly, is cozy warm with the sun facing us almost all day.
We were able to book-end ski week with two small getaways. We kicked off the week visiting some of our oldest friends at their new house in Roseville, about 2 hours from us. They have a son who is one year older than Cam and every time we get them together, they play well. It’s so nice to have the kids entertained with each other so we can catch up! This was Kenna’s first long car drive and she didn’t seem to have any complaints.
silly faces
At the end of the week, we stole away a bit South to a beach house rental with other close friends who have kiddos. Same story here: Cam gets along so well with their daughter so the kids entertain each other the whole weekend. We are treated with unseasonably warm weather so enjoy the morning at the beach, coming back to the house for a backyard hang in the hot tub and BBQ for dinner.
Kenna is falling into about a 4 nap a day sleep schedule. Her morning nap is the easiest and most consistent. The rest is more unknown – some days are great and she has 4 neat & square naps; other days are more sporadic and spaced out. These days I feel a tinge unhinged but most nights we can anchor ourself back with a ~5/6pm nap and then off to bed for the night about 90 minutes after that.
I have my first physical therapy appointment around 12 weeks and let me tell you, all praise Maureen, my PT!!! Mentally, I feel so much better after this appointment. I was worried that I should have been healed and good to go already but Maureen (also a mom of two) was like, no no no, you are maybe 15-20% “back to normal.” She reassures me things I am experiencing are normal and, importantly, it will get better with time. I do my PT multiple times every damn day and marvel at how my body made a baby!
I’m back to work after 6 1/2 months at home with my little girl. Time will be more limited but I’m committed to recapping my leave with Kenna. What a gift to have this extended time with my new baby. What a necessity to have it to recover, heal, and stabilize (mostly).Here we go.
November
We bring our baby girl home! She’s born 5 days early and after 1 night in the hospital, we are back home with Cam; officially a family of 4. I’m on regular doses of pain meds and generally feeling pretty good.
My milk hasn’t come in by our second night home though. I can tell Kenna is hungry and ready for more substance. Mike goes out on a formula and bottle run at 2:30am while I stay home with an almost inconsolable infant. When he returns she gulps down 2 oz so fast and sleeps for 4 hours. I feel a bit sad I couldn’t provide her what she needed but mostly relieved she is full and sleeping. There’s no ego in those early days.
She doesn’t have more formula as my milk comes in the next morning. Despite finally having supply, Kenna doesn’t gain as much weight as she should have at her 2-day check up. We go back 2 more times to make sure she is eating enough. *Shoutout* to one of my bests, Lauren, who comes over with her husband during one of those appointments and watches Cam. The extra support means everything.
Getting Kenna to feed is quite the ordeal for the next few days. We get a hospital grade pump delivered to us because she has lost more than 10% of her birthweight. To get Kenna to eat, I start pumping for my “letdown” to happen with Kenna at my breast. Mike is armed with a syringe of formula to coax her into latching. On my cue, he dribbles a small amount onto the nipple shield I have to use to entice Kenna to start sucking. We do this for 2 or 3 days until she finally starts latching on her own.
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We have a family cuddle on the couch almost every day. Mike, Kenna, and I doze while Cam watches a holiday movie. Cam is getting a surplus of screen time. *Shoutout* to our neighbors who invite Cam over for a playdate to give us some time to nap. They also host us for our first home-happy-hour (parent style); Kenna naps in my arms while I munch on cheese and crackers and sip a half glass of wine.
We spend Thanksgiving at home just the four of us, since Kenna is only 10 days old. Mike makes an untraditional feast of lobster rolls, Cesar salad, and green beans. Kenna’s umbilical cord stub falls off and we don’t keep it so I feel like I should make record of the date here! I am so thankful for this little family of mine.
December
Mike’s parents come to meet Kenna! They are only here for a few days en route to Australia. My mother-in-law kindly cleans our house between baby cuddles and I am so thankful for her. Her ease with our kids and grace in also knowing what Mike and I need in these tender days is admirable. Her and Mike’s dad also sweetly walk Kenna around a local movie theater for almost 2 hours so we can take Cam to see the new Moana movie; this way Kenna is close by in case she needs a feed, but not in the loud theater with us.
Nights are still a blur of waking up basically every 2 hours. We set our alarms to be sure we never go more than 3 hours without feeding her but babygirl wakes us up on her own every time before it goes off.
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We go to a Christmas Tree lighting when Kenna is just over 2 weeks old and I can’t believe we are out at such an event with a newborn. It’s a community thing so we see a ton of friends there and it feels good to catch up. Kenna also sleeps the whole time, which makes it easy.
Mike is on the first part of his pat leave and, while Cam is at school, we catch up on chores and do a few fancy lunches while Kenna dozes in the stroller next to us. We didn’t get to do this with Cam because of lockdown. It is mostly really nice to be able to experience eating out with a tiny baby cuddled up the whole time but there is a part of me that is nervous when we’re forced inside because of cold weather… Will crowds always kind of freak me out (covid trauma)?
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One particularly fun morning includes coffees at Santana Row and stumbling upon the amazing family room there, complete with plush swivel chairs, a big screen TV with cartoons (for older kids), separate smaller rooms with sinks, a changing area, and a comfortable chair to feed your baby. We hang out in a feeding room for 30 minutes, drinking our coffees and making plans to come back with Cam later.
We decorate the Christmas tree that afternoon and hang our four embroidered stockings. Mike had the foresight to order Kenna’s in advance; locking us in on the decision of her name with that $30 stocking purchase. 😉
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At 4 weeks we introduce the bottle to Kenna. She takes it right away and I get back a small about of flexibility now that she doesn’t need me to eat every time. She still only drinks breastmilk so I pump and Mike feeds her. I’m able to go on a 3 hour (!) coffee date with some of my new mom friends while our older ones are at a holiday camp. The conversation is so real and lovely. Friends get your through.
*Shoutout* to my bests, Leslie and Lauren, who also offer to watch Kenna AND Cam so Mike and I can go on a date. We walk to our favorite place for a drink, knowing our littles are safe with two of my oldest and dearest friends.
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Around this time, I decide to wean myself from pain meds as well, thinking I am mostly recovered. Everything I read online – as well as advice I get from my doctor – says that 4-6 weeks after a vaginal delivery you are back in action.
Um. Sadly this was not the case at all for me. I’m in an almost constant state of discomfort, often breaking down and crying to Mike.
“Why am I still in this amount of pain?” “How was a c-section a better, faster, smoother recovery?” “Will this ever go away?”
I am convinced the lack of sleep of newborn life is stalling my healing but there really isn’t another road to take. I need to feed her. Around this time, Kenna’ has her’s longest wake window is from ~6pm – 10pm. She is very fussy for these hours and eventually goes to sleep when we do. Mike and I are haggard, asking each other, “she has to be tired now, right?” After whatever magical combination of sush’ing and rocking works on any given night, we get a solid 5 hours of glorious sleep before she wakes up for a quick feed around 3am. Then, with the magic of the snoo swaying her back to sleep, we get another 2 or 3 hours.
Sometimes we take shifts in trying to put her to sleep. Usually I can’t sleep with the TV on but exhaustion overrides old preferences. Mike and I watch Red One in parts; the first half together; the second half just me, awake with Kenna while Mike sleeps and then vice-versa. We tell each other how far we got as we nudge the other one awake. “My turn to sleep.”
Christmas day creeps closer and we take Kenna to meet my whole family. We’re so tired. Kenna sleeps while being cuddled by various family members (all in masks because again, covid trauma?). Cam gets a million presents. It’s overwhelming and wonderful.
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We ring in the new year at a friend’s house just down the street, counting down with Nova Scotia because everyone has kids to get in bed!
wow where did the time go? Five years ago I was nine months pregnant and we were on the cusp of the covid pandemic. We weren’t wearing masks everywhere we went just yet (remember in the beginning when the advice was to save PPE for first responders?) but we were staying home to “flatten the curve.” THANKFULLY Mike was able to be my side for Cam’s entire birth – even stepping out for a burger and fries after we made our way to the recovery room (again Cam was born in the very early stages of the pandemic when hospitals weren’t having you isolate once you checked in, etc) – but, sadly, no one else was able to meet our little baby in person.
It’s hard to wrap my mind around him being this small!
When my mat leave ended in September 2020 my mom joined “our bubble” and watched Cam 3 days a week while Mike and I worked from home. On the days she wasn’t there we alternated hours with Cam, surviving on caffeine and context switching (I might not ever forget making last minute tweaks to an Audit Committee deck while changing a diaper and trying to entertain Cam – what a time). We rallied like this for an entire year; enjoying one family trip to Tahoe to celebrate our 2 year wedding anniversary right after Mike and I were vaccinated, feeling lucky for a layer of protection. Finally. (Cam also should have gotten antibodies through breastfeeding.)
A silver lining during the pandemic was how much extra time we got to spend with Cam and that my mom was able to watch him for a whole year – which would have never been feasible in “normal” (pre-pandemic) times
When Cam was a year and a half, we flew to Canada for Cam to meet Mike’s family. Mike’s parents flew back with us and we all huddled in our small 2 bedroom home for 6 months to keep Cam out of school as long as possible.
First flight!
Nana and Papa coming home with us!
The month before Cam turned two, he started at a Montessori school. I still feel lucky that they let us tour the school before his first day and let us actually walk in for drop off and pick up. I know others who had to part with their babies at the door of a place they had never been inside.
In April 2022 Cam got covid, after being at his school for 2 months. We isolated with him but were already vaccinated and actually never ended up getting it ourselves. Cam couldn’t get vaccinated yet but luckily his symptoms were mild. Shout out to my mom and one of my besties, Lauren, for bringing us groceries during those 14 days at home. The next month we returned to Tahoe for our second family trip there.
Tests on tests on tests
The one possible good thing about Cam getting covid was, we theorized, based on research we read (since we all become medical professionals during those years) he probably built up antibodies before we traveled to Spain (!) that summer. When we got back, Cam was finally vaccinated and we just had a really fun summer with friends who all had kids around the same age and lived on the same street.
our crew that summer!
We traveled back to Canada in Fall and covid felt mostly over by then. What a relief.
We took a trip to Hawaii to kick off 2023 and then celebrated Cam’s third birthday in Disneyland. It was a lucky year because we went back to Hawaii (and then Tahoe for year 3) a few months later. When we were in Tahoe that year, Mike and I decided we wanted another baby; a sibling for Cam!
That Fall we visited Vancouver and a few months later I was pregnant with Kenna (after another quick trip to Hawaii)! Before her arrival, we spent a day in Disney and went back to Toronto to spend time with family. Cam started TK after a mini staycation and we headed south again to visit Legoland.
For the past few months we’ve been hunkered down, getting into the rhythm of a family of four. Cam is the best big brother. He is so sweet and caring, always saying he wants to cuddle with Kenna and asking where she is. He has established himself at his new school and it’s been so fun to see him grow. Most days he says something that makes me lol for real. I love his wit and sense of humor, the way he sees the world, and how purely sweet he is. He doesn’t seem to be caught up in what other kids think of him too much, which I admire and hope it takes him far. He loves cars (still. always.), riding bikes with daddy, playdates with friends, DEEP baths, the pool (unless it is for swim lessons, yikes), mac n cheese, and all TREATS. He has this cute little laugh when he gets excited; alternates between shy and adventurous; and is just a really good kid. We are so happy he is our little dude.
To capture a snapshot of what he is like right now, I “interviewed” him last night during bath:
What was your favorite part of your birthday? Eating cheese puffs. (This is something he does everyday)
What is your favorite thing to do at school? Doing art.
What is your favorite thing to learn at school? Where do cracks come from. (Not sure about this one ha but intentionally quoted the slightly bad grammar of his response because, even though I know we are supposed to correct it, it’s so cute to me how he curates sentences. Another favorite Cam-ism is when he calls me and Mike “my mommy” and “my daddy”)
If you could eat one thing all day everyday for a week what would it be? Mac n’ cheese.
What is your favorite book? Pete the Cat.
What if your favorite movie? The Polar Express.
What is your favorite sport? Basketball.
What is your least favorite food? Cheese. (Ignore that his favorite food is mac n’ cheese)
What do you want to learn how to do? How to ride my bike with pedals. (This is good because the “pedal fairy” is coming to our house. As she does, when kids turn five.)
What’s your favorite TV Show? Magic School Bus.
What are your favorite activities? To build.
What is your favorite thing to do with Kenna? Say “hi Kenna.”
What is your favourite thing to do with Daddy? Play cars with him.
What is your favorite thing to do with Mommy? Cuddle with her hair. (To elaborate, when we cuddle in the morning or at night, I flip my hair onto his pillow and he lays his little head down on my hair. It feels like one of those things that he will eventually stop doing out of nowhere and I will miss how close it made our cuddles (my head is literally right near his with little ability to move without pulling my hair haha))
When I was pregnant with Cam I recapped my first, second, and third trimesters but in stereotypical form, I couldn’t quite find the time to post during my pregnancy with Kenna. However with pictures from my phone as reminders of the nine months, I’ve jotted down a bit about each trimester to look back on. 🙂
First trimester
I found out I was pregnant on St. Patrick’s Day, days before Cam’s 4th birthday. I didn’t get my period that morning so l took a test in the afternoon, since we were trying for baby #2. Like finding out I was pregnant with Cam, it felt so sweet and special to know I had a little one starting to grow instead me.
My in-laws arrived shortly after to celebrate Cam’s birthday. Mike and I decided we weren’t going to tell anyone about the pregnancy until we had our first scan; which meant I had to hide being pregnant from Mike’s parents! I obviously wasn’t drinking, which I don’t think raised too many questions since our family knew we were trying for a second baby. But I was sure that passing on hot tubbing at the airbnb we were staying at for Cam’s bday would give me away. I stuck to the excuse that I forgot my bathing suit (although if I wasn’t pregnant and that had happened, I probably would have just gone in with a sports bra and shorts or something, so I’m sure it was suspicious… ha).
“forgot my bathing suit”
As far as symptoms go, I happily didn’t have any morning sickness but did have this terrible taste in my mouth constantly. I was, as expected, extremely tired and slept like 9-10 hours a night in those early weeks. I also had breast soreness and a heightened sense of smell. All pretty much exactly how I felt when I was pregnant 4 years earlier with Cam. But unfortunately I also experienced something new this time around…
5 weeks in I started spotting. I will never forget the feeling of seeing that streak of blood for the first time. I was worried to the point of feeling like I had to throw up but all I could do was wait and hope the spotting would eventually stop. Luckily, eventually, it did. I remember taking Cam to Kids Day at my work and going all day without any blood. What a relief. …Kind of. I didn’t bleed anymore during my pregnancy but I’m not exaggerating when I say every single time I peed for the next 7 months, I was scared of seeing blood when I wiped. Every Sunday was a relief as it was another week we’d successfully made it. Particularly in the first trimester when I was, I think, the most desperate to make it to the next trimester.
pool party!
Towards the end of my first trimester we had a family pool party. I felt like I was already showing so had to figure out how to hide my little bump in a bathing suit. Basically I just got in the pool as quickly as possible. I think everyone there had an idea that I was pregnant!
I had a work off-site the last week of my first trimester, which is usually a time for cocktails with colleagues after long hours of meetings. Of course it was mocktails for me! I was in Encinitas at the beautiful Alila for 3 days and while there, I got the test results on if we were having a boy or a girl. It was so hard to sit on them until I was back home with Mike! I flew back late so we ended up opening the email the next morning and reading the results together in bed. No trendy cake and champagne glass cut through for us! But it was so special – and exciting!! – finding out we were having a girl right there in bed.
baby GIRL!
That same morning we had our 12 week scan. Before every scan I would get really worried that something was wrong so it was nerve wracking for me. Happily our baby girl was healthy and thriving. We have the sweetest video of this scan with her jumping and squirming all around. I must have watched it 100 times that afternoon on our drive up to Tahoe to celebrate our anniversary!
We love celebrating our anniversary in Tahoe – a special place to us for many reasons; one being it’s where Cam learned to walk in 2021 and also, now, where we told him he was having a little sister!!!
mocktails on mocktails
We slowly started sharing our special news with the rest of our family, cautiously hopeful now that we’d made it to the second trimester.
Second trimester
We went camping early on in the second trimester. It was nice to be able to tell people I was pregnant instead of making up excuses why I wasn’t drinking. I also started telling people at work, which was a relief because of the already-mentioned baby bump I had! I was getting to a point where finding anything to wear that kind of hid it was getting hard.
Disney magic
Notably we also went to Disneyland early on in my second trimester! Ah, I loved this trip and Cam was the perfect age to go while pregnant because he still rode relatively low key rides. Planning this vacation seemed like it was edging on outrageous – one single day in Disney!? – but it was definitely a highlight of our summer and I’m so happy we did it.
Another highlight that I hope to always remember was one June afternoon when I picked up Cam early from school because my work was slow. We spent some time in the backyard in the “hot” tub; reduced to a kid and pregnant friendly 97 degrees. And then went inside for crafts when it randomly started to rain big juicy drops. A summer rain in California is rare. I think some power knew it was a special afternoon for us and decided to give us some freak weather to remember it all.
a special afternoon out of school, crafting
I did a lot of yoga, just like when I was pregnant with Cam, during this pregnancy but for some reason couldn’t manage to walk as much. I had to reduce my daily mile walk to only a few blocks. I would just get so tired. I also started to get the most painful leg cramps in the middle of the night, something I hadn’t experienced while being pregnant with Cam.
We were able to travel to Canada to spend time with Mike’s family around 20 weeks. I posted about our trip but still hadn’t mentioned our pregnancy online so was strategic about the pictures shared. 🙂
We took weekly bump pics with Cam but I only snapped a few bathroom ones the second time around. If I’m being real, this was more about being nervous and scared something bad was looming than it was about time. It’s weird how we do that, right? How superstitious we can get about things like it might actually have any impact of the outcome… Anyways. I’m glad I do have a few mirror bump photos to show of this pregnancy.
baby bump ❤
In August we took a trip to Sonoma to celebrate Cam finishing preschool! The next week he started TK and I remember how incredibly hot the next few weeks were. Not very comfortable for a very pregnant lady!
first day of school!
The day before I entered the third trimester, we celebrated Mike’s 40th birthday with a Hawaiian themed bocce bash. The bump was in full display while we partied with friends and family. It felt so good to be so close to the final chapter of my pregnancy – only a few more months to meeting her!
Mike’s 40th
Third trimester
Around the third trimester I started having the most intense lower back pain. It was this pinching feeling that was almost constant. Ugh. I really capitalized on my pregnancy pampering at this point and had Mike give me nightly massages! Yoga also helped a bit but it was harder to move everyday with my expanding belly.
fam couch cuddles
that point where you wear mostly your husband’s clothes…
Mike took a boys trip to Vegas mid September, leaving me and Cam to adventure just the two of us one weekend. One of my best friends came over for a sleepover one of the nights, complete with coffees (for us) and pastries the next morning (ah, looking back it seems almost too easy to get out of the house with only one kid ha). Then, despite the heat, Cam and I spent the afternoon at Happy Hallow. We came home for dinner and a movie together. It was special time to spend together given how soon we were about to become a family of four!
For a last trip just the 3 of us, we took Cam to Legoland and had a blast in Southern CA for the weekend! I am looking forward to Kenna being older and taking them both there (as well as Disneyland).
The women in my family threw me a nice brunch baby sprinkle in early October. We were down to the final weeks before my due date at this point! Suddenly it was Halloween and then we were in November, the month baby would arrive (also when I celebrated my 35th birthday)!
baby sprinkle
.
In early November, on a whim, we took a morning trip to our favorite beach. Now that we have our little Kenna, still under 3 months, and it is very logistical to even go get a cup of coffee, I am glad we were able to get down to the sea for a last splash for a while!
The last ~2 weeks before my due date, I started picking up Cam from school vs. sending him to extended care and taking him on little dates. I will absolutely always treasure these times we had together however, looking back, I think it may have added to the abrupt shift Cam must have felt not being the only child anymore… Suddenly we went from extra time with mommy to essentially all shared time with me. If I had to do it again, I wouldn’t give up the extra time together but I would have talked with him more about how this was a special time before some big changes in our family.
ice cream date
As I set my maternity OOO, Mike and I were also able to get some extra time together, going to lunch everyday the week before Kenna arrived.
mommy & daddy lunch date
We’re now 7 weeks postpartum (another post on that coming …eventually) and slowly getting into some kind of swing around here. I missed my baby bump for the first time the other day which is a weird mix of emotions. I first felt Kenna move around 14 weeks and felt her flutter around every day for the rest of my pregnancy. She was such an active baby in the belly, always moving and twirling. I loved feeling her groove in there.
My second pregnancy was a bit harder but aside from the early spotting (which was very scary!), it was joyous. How beautiful to grow a little baby. I feel incredibly happy to have our Kenna girl earthside.
bumping ❤
Cam’s baby shower 4 years ago (fun fact: I wore the same dress at Kenna’s)
Our little girl is here! I wrote about Cam’s birth story when he was born and love being able to go back and read it. Here we are for round two. Fair warning, this is a long one so settle in. 🙂
I had a c-section with Cam because he was breech, which meant I was eligible for a VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) for my second pregnancy. Since I wanted a natural childbirth with Cam 4 years ago, you would think this was welcome news but I actually found it difficult to have options and to have to make the decision. On one hand, I knew what to expect with a c-section (appealing) but on the other, it is a major surgery that doesn’t come without risks. However, a vaginal delivery- especially after a c-section – had it’s own set of risks to consider… Plus the outcome was far less predictable; would I end up needing a c-section anyway? what about tearing? forceps? could I really do it without an epidural?
Going into my last doctor’s appointment, I was 51% ready to proceed with a c-section. And then I found out I was already 2 cm dilated and fully effaced. My doctor also gave me a boost of confidence saying I was an ideal candidate for a VBAC and she truly thought it would be successful. And, she added, ultimately a VBAC was less risky. Okay, decision made. My goal was to have a vaginal delivery without an epidural.
Leaving that appointment, armed with the information that I had a “1% chance of making it to my due date,” given how far along I already was, I was sure this baby was coming any day. No, any hour. I was actually still working until that Friday but wanted to get everything in order in case she came early. I spent the rest of Monday and Tuesday wrapping things up and setting my mat leave OOO. And then… I waited. Mostly on the couch watching Netflix. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday… still no baby. (This did give me and Mike the opportunity to get in some last lunch dates while Cam was at school!) Saturday… Sunday… nothing. Monday, a week after my doctor’s appointment and still not in labor or any sign of it, aside from some mild period like cramping. Hm. Before we went to sleep that night I told Mike the doctor was probably wrong and I thought I would make it to my due date after all. Famous last words…
At 12:50am on Tuesday, I woke up with more intense cramping than I had been feeling that whole week. Mike started tracking contractions to see if this was the “real thing” but I knew it was. My contractions were all over the place – some lasted minutes, others seconds; some were close together and others like 10 minutes apart. One thing was for sure though, despite being ad hoc, they were getting more and more intense.
I decided to get in the bath to try to ease the pain. I spent about 90 minutes in there while we called the hospital and my mom to come over and stay with Cam. I remember thinking how painful this was but looking back, that part of labor was a cakewalk.
My mom arrived around 3am, Mike gave her instructions on what to do the next morning to get Cam to school, and we were off to the hospital.
After being admitted into triage, we found out I was already 7 cm dilated. Great news! At this point I was feeling really nauseous and overwhelmed with all of the questions, poking, and people coming in and out of the room. Plus, the nurse who was trying to put in my IV casually told me, “oops, I just blew an artery.” Ugh. I am very squeamish around needles and hearing that threw me over the edge. As they were wheeling me to the labor and delivery room, I stared throwing up. Real cute. And it only got cuter.
Once in the room, another nurse inserted an IV in my other arm without any incident or pain. So thankful. Someone else asked me about my birth plan, which I had forgot to submit to my doctor ahead of time… Basically though, I didn’t want an epidural – given above mentioned fear of needles – but if there was something to take the edge off another way, I was all for it. Enter fentanyl in my IV.
Ah, what a relief. A few moments of less pain. My contractions became way more manageable, just small waves of mild cramping. Mike and I were even able to take a little nap at this point. And with the room as dimly lit it was, dare I say, a bit relaxing.
Oh, what a turn things were about to take…
Around 6am, the doctor came in to check my cervix. I was still about 7 cm and my water hadn’t broken. Ugh. She offered to break it to move things along. I asked if it hurt and she assured me it didn’t. I agreed, wanting to keep things progressing. All of the sudden there was a seemingly never ending flow of liquid. I felt like I was constantly peeing myself, despite the nurses regularly changing out the bedding and towels under me. (Sorry if TMI.)
Once the doctor left from breaking my water, the nurse informed me, “I didn’t want to say anything with the doctor in here but while the procedure doesn’t hurt… labor gets a lot more intense after your water breaks.” Cool.
By this point the pain meds were wearing off (of course) and it was recommended not to get another dose as not to make the baby sleepy. In retrospect, I’m glad I didn’t know things were about to get so intense or I might have opted not to proceed with breaking my water. However, I can’t overstate the pain contractions suddenly took on. It was the most severe amount of pressure I’ve ever felt.
At one point I asked to get in the shower, hoping for anything to relieve the pain. But, because I had a c-section with Cam, this technically wasn’t allowed since the baby had to be under constant monitoring as a precaution. Cameryn, our nurse – who, because I went into labor in the morning, was with me through the whole day/labor, which was a gift – mentioned I had been using the restroom without monitoring, so a quick shower should be okay.
“Please, please, please!” I literally begged the doctor.
“Okay,” she reluctantly started to agree, “but do you understand there is a risk being off the monitor?”
“I do,” I replied, probably already bolting to the bathroom but knowing to my core that the baby was going to be okay for those 5 minutes in the shower.
The water was a relief but it was coupled with the sudden urge to push. Ugh, I always heard about this in movies and stories and now here I was experiencing it. Suddenly I needed to get out of the shower and back on the bed.
Now feels like a good time to highlight Mike in this whole experience. He was by my side the ENTIRE birth (looking back, I don’t think he even used the restroom himself or had a sip of water during the whole thing). It makes me a bit emotional even as writing this to think of him standing outside the shower – ready with a towel or whatever I needed – and just being such a steady presence. If roles were reversed, I think it would be difficult for me to be as calm, collected, and supportive as he was.
Back in the bed, I thought I had to be 10 cm dilated at this point. The urge to push was just so intense. The nurses were calling doctors for someone to come check but everyone was in a delivery. This didn’t sound …ideal. Eventually a midwife came to check and honestly here is where everything starts to get a bit hazy.
I vaguely remember her checking my cervix and screaming in pain. I’m not sure why that time hurt that bad but I was only 8 cm dilated. Fuck. For the next hour (maybe?) I rode out the contractions by changing positions, based on the midwife’s recommendation, screaming, and literally shaking in pain. I know at multiple points I whimpered, “I can’t do this, I can’t do this.” To which that amazing nurse who was with me all day would reply, “you can! You are so strong! You got this!” Honestly this wasn’t that encouraging in the moment but it did seem to get me through, so I’m thankful.
Finally I got the go-ahead to start pushing. Yes, I thought! Here we go. One push in though and I was like, nooooo. This sucks even more.
I spent the next ~50 minutes pushing for 3 counts of 8 every contradiction I had, except the one I missed because of utter exhaustion (“okay, we’ll let that one go” I remember the midwife saying). For every push I was instructed to hold onto my legs and pull with my arms and elbows out wide, focusing all my energy ~down there~. I always knew when I had a “good” push because it was so painful. Which meant I didn’t want to do it again. I’m pretty sure there were a good number of pushes that didn’t move anything along. In between pushing I would collapse, actually falling asleep at some points. And then another contraction would come and I would have to push, somehow willing my body to act when my brain screaming, not again! This is too much!
Sporadically after pushes they would tell me a progress report. “Great job, we can see this much of her head!” “Amazing one, a bit more of her head out this time.” I asked if her head went back in every time? They told me it did.
“What?!” I was shocked. “She is literally never going to come out with this design…”Everyone assured me she would.
And then, miraculously, magically, after an unassuming push (but actually very assuming because pushing is the most painful), SHE WAS HERE. A slimy little curled up bundle of love placed on my chest. And oh how sweet it was.
She didn’t cry at first but no one seemed worried about it – expect me, frantically asking once I realized, “why isn’t she crying?!” Seconds later we heard her wail. Relief. She was here. I did it.
Next up was delivering the placenta. Which, thankfully, was out in one small push. Then came the next terror of my story… stitches for tearing. I won’t go into deep detail on the internet but I ended up with a second-degree tear. Which I don’t think would have been too bad except I had to go into the operating room to fix my stitches after the midwife tried with no success to stitch me up.
Anyways! Moving on.
After the OR, I was reunited with Mike and our girl. We spent the next few hours sending pictures to family and friends and filling up on hospital sandwiches. Yum. Eventually we were transferred into our room, where we settled in until discharge the following day.
As with Cam, these hours were filled with lots of nurse visits (one in particular I actually remembered from when Cam was born 4 years ago!), scattered sleep for all 3 of us, desperate attempts for drops of colostrum (liquid gold), mediocre food, and, most importantly, falling in love with Kenna.
We video chatted with my mom and Cam a few times and he seemed mostly unfazed about now having a little sister. My mom reported back that he wanted her name to be Miles, from the Spidey team, which we got a good laugh from.
The next day we were told we could go home if we wanted. Yes, please! After our final tests – and getting my IV out; always a highlight! – Mike went to pick up Cam early from school so he could meet Kenna in the hospital.
Officially a family of four. What a dream come true. ♥️♥️♥️♥️
I had such mixed feelings on the drive home. On one hand, I was thrilled to be going home and, of course, to be with Cam again (!) but on the other, I was anxious to be leaving the safety of the hospital; cocooned in a little room with medical professionals just a red button call away.
Kenna is 3 weeks today and every day is getting a bit easier. Eventually I’ll do another entry about the postpartum experience this time around (and probably one about my pregnancy in general!). But overall, I’ve experienced a lot of mixed feelings like I did on the drive home from the hospital. I’m trying to soak in every second of Kenna being a newborn while also still being involved in Cam’s world. There is an almost always push and pull with these feelings; who do I give my attention to? how do I escape the guilt no matter what I decided?
I’m also trying hard to not get overwhelmed by housework and everything that feels like it needs to be done. Resisting the urge to clean and tidy isn’t my strong suit. However I know, in retrospect, dirty dishes won’t matter but being full of Cam and Kenna love and cuddles will.
Which, speaking of, ugh, newborn (and 4 year old) cuddles truly are the best! Kenna is such a sweet baby. She’s absolutely gorgeous with a full head of dark hair, almond shape eyes, and a perfectly shaped little face. I find myself just staring at her throughout the day (and night and early morning hours… haha) absolutely obsessed. We’re all so in love with her.
Whew, it’s been a while since I’ve been able to sit down and post something. Since our trip to the Russian River in August, we spent a month in Canada – where Cam met Mike’s parents for the first time (!) and we were able to see some family and close friends. Mike’s parents flew back home with us and will be staying here until March. It’s a full house over here, complete with starting a bathroom renovation and trying to navigate life somewhat returning to normal after so many months of covid.
All of this to say, it’s been busyyy.
Excitedly, Grandparents staying with you means… built in BABYSITTERS! Mike and I were able to steal away just the two of us for the first time since before Cam was born. Whoo!
We took an ease-in approach to spending our first time away from Cam and booked one night at the Hotel Los Gatos, about 15 minutes away from our house. (This came at the great encouragement of our friends / neighbors who urged us to abort our original plan of staying at the hotel down the street from our home and stay somewhere a little nicer, with a little more distance, to disconnect more. Thanks, Ally & Rob!)
We checked in, dropped off our overnight bags, and walked to an amazing craft cocktail bar Soda Works (another recommendation from Ally actually – love good neighbors!). Here we indulged in boozy, bourbon-y drinks and a great charcuterie plate. Sharing an app and sipping on drinks brought me back to so many great vacations we’ve had (like Portland and Chicago and Sebastopol). Mike and I really thrive in trendy restaurants. 😉
Of course we hit up the hot tub when we got back; and even took a dip in the pool. Fall in November, folks – still warm enough to swim!
We had dinner reservations at the hotel restaurant Dio Deka, an upscale Mediterranean place. In true date date fashion, we spilt a bottle of wine; ordered and spilt spanakopita, lamb chops, orzo, and French fries. It was all so satisfying and delicious, I almost didn’t noticed the 2.5 hours (!!) we were there. Albeit a little longer than I prefer for dinner, I’m glad we dined here as it came highly recommended.
Being new(ish) parents, we were the most excited about sleeping in!!!! After dinner, we lasted for exactly 5 minutes watching a Friends rerun before crashing …ONLY to wake up a few hours later, unable to fall back asleep. Waaaahhh. My well-rested dreams were dashed. I think I finally fell asleep again around 3:30am, only to wake up just before 6am. What?! I refused to get out of bed that early when I didn’t have Cam there commanding my attention and needing blueberries and waffles. Mercifully I was able to get a bit more sleep (until 9am, which is basically 1pm in “non-parent time”).
We had a lavish morning of coffees and breakfast sandwiches by the pool, and then another soak in the hot tub. It was so.glorious. and the perfect end to our first time away from Cam. Not surprisedly, we missed our little guy and were happy to return home for snuggles and love.
I generally find it hard to believe that a year and some change ago I was preparing for a c-section to meet our little Camaroni.
This post rounds out a year of Cam updates on my blog; his first 365 days documented here every 3 months or so. In a way, these posts have been how people have gotten to know him. They have served a dual purpose: an artifact for us and a close to real-time way for friends and family to read about what Cam is like.
March 2020 will always be a standout month for us. It is the month we became parents. Of course it is also a time that bears significance for the world…
Life is (still) different from what we were used to. And because of that, Cam’s first Christmas was just the 3 of us. I can explain it as wonderfully weird. Weird because we didn’t imagine friends and family being physically absent during Baby’s First Christmas. Wonderful because … it was Baby’s First Christmas! We managed to incorporate a few family traditions while also sampling new tastes for the holiday.
You know we had to get matching jams to sleep and wake up in on 12/25. I remember my sister and I opening new jams on Christmas Eve (matching before it was trendy, mind you) so there were sweet ties to the past doing this with Cam. Mike and I also prepped his mom’s famous Land of Nod bread to bake for breakfast.
In a pandemic plot twist, we were actually able to join a tradition we typically miss. Most years we are in Canada for Christmas and I miss opening presents with my stepdad’s family on Christmas Eve. In 2020 though, everyone was virtual. (I might need the family to set up a computer for me to join from afar in the years to come.:) Cam was spoiled with sweet gifts while Mike and I indulged in a charcuterie.
Christmas charcuterie!!!? Sounds like a new tradition to me.
On Christmas we woke up and opened more gifts, munching on Land of Nod and sipping coffee. Of course this was all before 9am because kids wake up so early! Hah. The next few days were spent cozied up watching Christmas movies (all THREE of The Santa Claus movies in rotation), getting endless Cam cuddles, and generally enjoying the magic of the holidays with a little one.
Excitedly Cam was able to meet his cousins a few days later (!!!) when Mike’s sister and her family had an overnight layover in San Francisco en route to Melbourne. We met them outside and stayed distanced at a park near their hotel. What a strange time. Overall we were grateful that we at least got to see them but it was hard when Ella wanted to hold and play with her baby cousin and she couldn’t. How do you really explain what a pandemic is to kids? Waaaah.
Over the holidays, Cam was waking up almost every night around 8pm. What!? Since we didn’t have work the next morning, we broke the Parenting Rules and let him come downstairs to watch movies with us but we knew the habit couldn’t last.
It turns out he had outgrown his early 5pm/5:30pm bedtime and could hang for about an hour longer. Since then he’s stuck to a mostly consistent schedule of waking up between 6am – 7am, taking his first nap 2 hours later (between 8 – 9am) for about an hour and then his second/last nap 3 hours after (between 12pm – 1pm). He goes to sleep for the night 4 hours after he wakes up from his last nap, which is typically around 6pm. I love having him awake for the extra hour because it’s usually the only time all 3 of us spend together (aside from the weekends). It’s actually hard to imagine life pre-pandemic and how long day care/office hours were. If Cam went to day care – like we had planned before covid – I would have dropped him off at 7am and picked him up around 5pm; leaving about one hour to spend with him all day. The positives of the pandemic are very few and far between but spending so much time with Cam is at the top of our list. (I think I write that in all of these updates.)
We had some really nice weather in the early part of the year – even by California standards – and were able to walk to a local park and have a few picnics. Soaking up the sun on a sprawling blanket? Count me in every time. And twice on Sundays when it includes a trip to the Farmer’s Market for pastries (which has become a family favorite).
Cam experienced his first Inauguration Day and, whew, what a slice of history. Obviously he didn’t know what was going on but it was a really emotional day for me. Such hope for his future and our country. God bless!
Around this time, Cam also discovered we have stairs. He LOVES to climb on everything. Mike’s parents (Nannie & Grandpy) got him a kid-sized chair that he scurries up on – smiles huge at us like “look at me being so big and the cutest ever” – and tries to get up on the couch.
Cam has a few party tricks now. My favorite being when we say “YAAAAAY!” he starts aggressively clapping. He takes clapping very seriously and has the look of pure determination in his eyes as he slaps his little baby hands together.
It tickles me that we don’t even call it clapping though… I will literally say to him, “can you do ‘yay?'” and that is his cue.
Ya know how they say you learn what your babies different cries mean? Cam doesn’t really cry that much but he does his “baby grunts” and we (kind of) know what each one means. There is the low, throaty excited grunt. And his quick, almost squawk like I-want-this-grunt. He also sometimes just shouts really loud but closes his eye when he does it. Like he knows, this is going to be real loud and I’m ready for it.
Recently he’s added pounding the floor with both hands and making …gorilla noises? to his lofty hand gestures. Mike and I often join in the pounding which cracks him up, and then, in turn, makes us laugh.
Since we’re still working from home, we decided to unconventionally hang a swing for him in our room. Under other circumstances, it would have gone outside but sometimes when we’re double booked for meetings, we need to put Cam somewhere that he can’t really move from – and that he enjoys so our colleagues don’t hear him cry (or frustrated grunt) while we are trying to present. Luckily Cam loves the swing and it dose the trick every time. He’s joined many Upwork meetings swinging peacefully behind me.
Aside from swings, Cam loves; Trash Truck on Netflix, goat cheese (still), watermelon, pureed soups or food with a bit of spice to them, playing with cars and trains (complete with the “buuurrrrummm” sound), typing on dad’s keyboard, mom’s snuggles and silly antics, being INDEPENDENT, bath time, and going on walks, especially if there is a pitstop at the park for a ride in the “outside” swings.
Recently, Cam went from his signature army crawl to mastering the regular, on all fours crawl, after lots of practice with my mom. He has started to pull himself up on everything and has done a few seconds of free standing but isn’t quite walking. He likes books but is a speed reader so you have to talk fast.
Cam continues to be a good sleeper, aside from a 6-7 day rebellious stint he played where he would immediately pull himself up to standing the second we put him in his crib and start crying and crying. It seemed to come on out of nowhere and gave me a good scare that my easy sleeper had vanished. Luckily he’s back into his regular good-sleeping grove, more or less. I have a theory that he sleeps way better if we give him a big portion of oatmeal for dinner… Keeping the oats in full stock over here!
He’s just the happiest, sweetest little baby and I feel like the luckiest person to be his mom. I love you.
Cam is 9 months old! Christmas is in 5 days! An hour might feel long but, stacked up, they are flying by.
Nine months seems big because he’s now spent as much time “outside” as he did growing inside me. 18 months of knowing this little guy. ♡
Cam has changed so much since my last post. Around 6 months old he started sitting up fully all by himself. I don’t know why but it is sooooo cute to see him sitting up. He seems so small and so big at the same time.
His 2 bottom teeth also officially cut through, which are – you guessed it – adorable! I feel like I am waiting every day for the next ones to come in but nothing more yet.
In early October, we celebrated our first Canadian Thanksgiving with Cam. Since 2013 we’ve gotten together with friends to drink Canadian beer and eat poutine. It’s usually a big event; last year we even told everyone I was pregnant during Canadian Thanksgiving because so many of our friends are in the same place at once. Of course, because of COVID, this year was a much smaller gathering. We only had 2 friends and their little one over so we could all sit outside, far apart. Nonetheless it was still really nice to spend an afternoon with friends.
The other big event in October was obviously baby’s first Halloween! Cam had 4 (!) outfit changes that day to squeeze in all of his cute Halloween wear and his costume. We were able to keep up with another loved tradition this year and had my uncle, aunt, and cousins over for pumpkin carving; which marked our 10th year doing so!! I loveeee traditions and was really glad we were able to keep this one alive. And it was relatively covid friendly being that we all stay outdoors, 6 feet apart, and wore masks. I’m also happy that Cam was able to get in on the action. He loved playing with some of the carving tools.
In a year that has taken a lot from us, Halloween was a really special day. Not only did we get to spend time with my family and keep at least one tradition alive through 2020… but we also created a new (hopefully) lasting tradition with our neighbors. We live in a little tucked away cove and decided as a community to go all out for Halloween. There are only 5 kiddos on the street so we figured why not make it really special for them? Neighbors decorated houses and cars and created the best goodie bags that were all left outside for socially distant pick ups. After trick or treating – which, side note, score for me and Mike since Cam is too young to eat any treats – a bunch of us grabbed camping chairs and sat in a giant circle outside. This was only our 2nd Halloween in this house but I guess no one has really done anything in the past. Well, not anymore! Everyone kept commenting about how much fun the evening was and how we plan to go all out every year. What a sliver (and chocolate?) lining in a hard year – a new festive tradition with neighbors!
Oh and Camden was an avocado; Mike and I? his toast escorts. A fun, simple, (last minute…) family costume.
It’s crazy what a slower pace of life we’re experiencing now. This year has really taught us to savor moments, which is particularly fitting and sweet with a little babe. We started a Sunday ritual of grabbing coffees and going to pick up pastries at our favorite place. With yummy morning treats in hand, we stroll down the still-quiet streets of a downtown area to a section that has been blocked off and scattered with Adirondack chairs.
After disinfecting the chairs, we take Cam out of the stroller, bundle him up in a blanket, and enjoy our breakfast with him snuggled in one of our laps. It’s something that we probably would have taken for granted in life before COVID… but given the time and the limit of things you can safely do outside your house, it’s become something really nice to look forward to doing together.
gimme that monkey bread, dad!
When Cam was about 7 months he decided he was DONE sitting in his bassinet in the stroller. We upgraded him to another seat attachment where he can sit more up right and he loves looking around at the world. He usually takes a morning walk with dad and an afternoon walk with mom, cozied up with blankets and tagalong plush toys.
A bigger development around this time was the 3rd nap drop. Dunnn-dun-DUNNNNN….
Seemingly overnight he wouldn’t fall asleep during his last ~2:30pm nap. “Should we drop it?” Mike and I nervously asked each other. Listen, Cam has never been the best napper – if we get an hour from him, we’re congratulating him (and ourselves) – but to lose a nap altogether, while we are both working full-time from home with him sounded stress inducing. Luckily my mom, who comes down 3x/week to help us, was able to adjust and stay longer on these days. Whew. Truth be told, Cam sometimes has slightly better naps now that he is down to 2 a day. So…. we’re managing. Also, THANKS MOM!
We also discovered that Cam HATES formula. Like don’t even get it near him. My milk supply took a random dip in the beginning of November and, since Cam was over 6 months, we decided to introduce formula to him. LOLOLOLOOOOLLLL If only it were that easy. I had NO idea your baby might not like formula. Nipple confusion? Not taking a bottle? I heard about all of that. But no one told me, “oh hey you know how they say breast is best and not to give your baby anything but it for the first 6 months? well they might not like anything.else. after those 6 months of exclusively being breastfed, soooo, good luck!”
Ugh. Luckily after a hard week where Cam basically starved himself before drinking a sip of formula, my supply made a comeback. We’ve been going pretty steady since – aside from a day or two where it seems low – so I am just hoping we can make it until he is a year, when he can have regular milk.
Which, speaking of dairy, we discovered Cam loves goat cheese! And basically anything else that isn’t baby food. Because of the cooler weather, we’ve been having a lot of soup and Cam will happily slurp down broth while scoffing at baby food. He also LOVES water and drinks out of these cute doggy sip cups our neighbors gave us.
November was my birthday and, to celebrate, we took a Friday off from work and headed to the coast. We hit up a favorite coffee shop in Santa Cruz (are you sensing a theme to what we love to do? Coffee + pastries all day every day) and walked along West Cliff. Ah, what a lovely day it was! The path wasn’t crowded. The weather wasn’t cold. Cam had fun watching the waves crash.
Although one of the funky things about COVID is having to use the restroom while you are out. I knew I would have to pee at some point but didn’t have a game plan for how to do that… LUCKILY we found a public restroom at a beach nearby and arrived right as they were unlocking the doors. We felt safe using it since we were the first ones there. I was also able to feed Cam in the car in a relatively secluded spot, which was nice.
After, we walked a bit more and then headed home via our favorite local BBQ spot to get lunch to eat by the fireplace. Cozy vibes all the way. Oh, and I also got a Biden WIN for my birthday, which was a pretty damn good gift.
For Cam’s 8 month birthday 🙂 we took him to a local park to go down a slide and on the swings for the first time. It doesn’t sound too extravagant of an afternoon but it was good fun for all of us. Cam loved the swing and would kick his little legs like he was walking when we pushed him. And for us, it’s always fun to see your baby try something new!
My favorite little bear!
Thanksgiving was a small affair this year with only our “bubble.” Next year I hope the holidays are closer to what we’re used to them being – big, merry, celebrations with lots of family and friends; packed rooms, hug, and kisses! But until we can safely get to that point, we’re just so thankful to be spending the holidays with our little guy. He is such a happy, mellow, sweet baby.
Cam usually goes to bed very early but we had one night in early December, he squeezed in a late nap and we were able to take him out to see some neighborhood Christmas lights before his pushed-back bedtime. There is something magical about seeing the holidays through your baby’s eyes. I can’t wait to open presents with Cam on Christmas morning!!
I think the biggest thing to happen in the past 3 months is Cam scooting all around now! Just recently he’s picked up major speed and can army crawl across the living room in seconds. He is also a man on a mission when we are Facetiming family and he wants the iPad.
He also loves walking around in his walker and pulling dish towels down from their hanging spots.
He cracks up when I say “give me that baby back baby back baby back riiiib,” and pretend munch on his (baby back) ribs. Or if I say “give me that TURKEY THIGH!” and nibble his thigh. And it should be noted that I do all of this in the most animated, outrageous voices. What is it about babies that makes us all so magnificently weird?
I love signing to him the theme song to Somebody Feed Phil, one of my favorite shows, and curling up with him on his play mat while he explores toys and books. He is quick with the touch and feel reads, and knows where all of the textured things are – his tiny fingers quickly grabbing at them as we turn the pages. Daddy’s keyboard is another favorite, where he sits in Mike’s lap and types on a saved notepad reserved for him. So far he’s pasted in some actual code that Mike had copied to the clipboard and has spelled out a few words (all on accident, of course).
Cam is slow to smile for strangers but warms up and gives a cheeky little grin eventually. He seems particularly smitten with his aunt Wendy and always reserves a big smile for her when he sees her while video chatting. He loves his Go Go (my mom) and snuggles into her at the start of their days together.
Cam also likes to “wrestle” and we spend a lot of time on the couch or on our bed with him trying to attack/basically eat my face and me laughing/yelling/trying to escape those little jaws. He’s a belly sleeper. Most mornings we wake up to his fists cupped tightly around his crib like he is trying to break free, which makes me laugh.
He opens his mouth wide right when he sees his toothbrush or a syringe of Tylenol, if he is teething. He loves baths. He doesn’t like like getting dressed after them, though. Sometimes he thinks sneezes are funny. He always likes a good game of peak-a-boo but requires full commitment. No hiding behind your hands. You have to make a real effort and duck down behind something or it just isn’t fun.
Cam’s favorite toy of all time is “his cube” — which if you recognize the words, “the cube. is fun. for everyonnnneee,” you know… You know.
It is fun seeing his personality develop; what he loves and what he passes on. Overall he is just fun! I love spending time with him.
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