4th trimester – part two

Read my first post about the 4th trimester here.


Here we are, 3 months since Cam was born! We are now officially out of the newborn stage. The saying “the days are long but the years are short” is already ringing true.

The world feels heavy right now. Devastatingly police brutality and systematic racism are major problems here in the States. And we are still dealing with the wrath of COVID. I am desperately grasping at thinking of this year as a cocoon year of sorts; 2020 feels stifling but I have to believe we will come out of it changed. For the better. (I’m looking at you, November.)

It’s weird because I’m simultaneously waiting for 2020 to be over but also relishing in these sweet months with Cam. I know this is a time I will reflect on and want back, despite how isolating and scary things might feel some days.

To be honest, I can’t help but feel jealous of moms who had their babies before COVID and got to experience a “normal” mat leave. If I’m not careful with my thoughts, my mind drifts to all of the things we are missing out on; like friends and family visiting (and helping!), weekend getaways, and even something as simple as going for a leisurely coffee as a family.

I am endlessly thankful for our health. And at least we have technology. Cam has continued to meet and chat with family either over Facetime or in person with masks and socially distancing. Here are some pictures we have for the baby book. What a crazy time!

Meeting his Great Grandparents
Having a virtual tea with his cousin, Ella!
Our first family members (my uncle, aunt, and cousins) to meet Cam in person …through the window
Facetiming with Grandma!

(If you look closely in the background of photos taken in our house, you will notice we still have a fair bit of work to do as far as renovations go! We’ll get baseboards one day.)

Given COVID, we have still spent the majority of our time at home. Mike went back to work this past week so now it’s just me and Cam during the day. One of the few sliver linings of COIVD is that Mike is working from home so we get to see him a lot more than we would have if he was back in the office (ha!!! office life… seems like such a distant way of life now).

The day before Mike returned to work things got real wild and we drove to another trail to take a walk. We grabbed coffee/tea at Peet’s before parking and walking around Almaden Lake Park. The sun was shining, the trail was beautiful, kids were there playing soccer with masks on……..

Cam pretty much slept the whole time but it was so nice to get out and do something different.

Speaking of sleep, Cam is still a pretty good sleeper. We wake up between 1 – 2x/night. This seems solid for his age in my opinion. I’m still trucking away reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and if I massively reduce the ~300 pages I’ve read so far, it breaks down to the following:

  • The more sleep your baby gets, the more your baby will sleep. This might sound counterintuitive but the reasoning is that if your baby is overtired, they will have a difficult time falling asleep and go into “sleep debt,” which should be avoided that at all costs! Cam isn’t the best napper – often opting for 20 – 45 minute power naps 3 – 4 times a day – but he is a really good nighttime sleeper soooo small wins?
  • Another key point is an early bedtime (the author suggests really early like 6pm or 6:30pm) is one of the best things you can do for your baby. Sleep is compared to food, in the terms of you wouldn’t deprive your child of food when hungry and the same is true for sleep. Don’t deprive your child of sleep when they are tired! Basically be a good parent and put your child to bed EARLY. I agree with this in theory but in practice, we’ve found Cam does not go to sleep before ~8pm. If we try to put him down earlier, it is a nap and he’s up shortly after. I have heard counter advice to the early bedtime that says before 4 months, babies will fall asleep easier between 8pm – 10pm, so we’ve kept bedtime later for now.
  • Once you have an early bedtime established (ideally around 6 weeks but, as mentioned, this isn’t our story), you can start building in the scheduled mid-morning nap around 3-4 months, and then the mid-day nap. Eventually I will have to figure out how to get Cam on a better nap schedule…
  • Sleeping while in motion (in the car or a stroller) is “junk sleep” and can’t be counted as a decent nap. This is a downer but we’ve started putting Cam upstairs in his bassinet for naps now and, although they are short, at least he is (hopefully) getting good quality sleep.
  • Apparently the key to unlocking all of this sleep magic is to put your baby down when he is drowsy but still awake. Then, ideally, your baby might fuss for a few minutes but quickly self-soothe to sleep. It’s hit or miss if this works for us. Sometimes we catch Cam at that perfect point and he is able to put himself to sleep, other times he falls asleep nursing or while we are rocking him. There doesn’t seem to be a rhyme or reason! I hope to eventually get in more of a routine at bedtime so we can anticipate his sleep schedule better but, so far, we’re taking it day by day, nap by nap…
  • Extinction is what you have to do when you spoil your baby (probably like we are doing) and they don’t self-soothe. It is just letting your baby cry until they fall sleep. The author basically says “you shouldn’t feel bad about your baby crying themselves to sleep because you are allowing them to learn how to sleep well.” I try to remember this advice but so far we haven’t left Cam to cry longer than ~5 minutes and even that short amount of time was hard. We’ll see if we have to use the extinction method as we’ve been pretty passive on a sleep schedule. We agreed at 3 months, we’re cracking down though. Stay tuned…
Cam and I snoozing during morning cuddles!

What else? I started writing in a notebook that I will give to Cam one day. I only have a few entries so far, and I started it on a whim, but want to continue writing in it until he is at least one. Most of it is really just about how much I love him =) and what we did that day (which is a lot of the same thing because of COVID) but I still think it will be nice for him to have when he is older. I would love to have something to read from my parents about those early days.

We’ve started reading a lot more to him, and set up a little play area in our living room with his soft books and some toys. My mom-voice is probably so annoying for Mike to hear during these readings. Ha. Oh well! (I also love saying “oh Camaroniiiiii” in a pretty theatrical voice that I’m sure is only funny to Cam. Which is it. Btw. Funny. To Cam. He laughs when I do it. …Or he did, once;)

In other news, I’ve essentially given up on trying to enjoy any alcoholic beverage. Mike and I celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary (!) and I indulged in 2 cocktails, thinking the babe was sound asleep. Of course he woke up shortly after and was starving. It was stressful frantically defrosting bags of milk while trying to gauge how hungry he was and if we should pull another one out of the freezer. That instance plus having to do a lot of prework for a drink has lead me to the conclusion that it is basically not worth it at this juncture. I keep saying a glass of wine is meant to be enjoyed, not to be a source of stress where you are constantly checking the clock and the baby monitor! Maybe when he starts eating solids I will feel more comfortable about having a drink, but for now sparkling water for me it is. (I’ve also joked that Cam’s 1st bday – when I think I will likely stop breastfeeding – will be like my second 21st bday; shots, shots, shots…!) (Kidding) (Kind of)

Cam has started to giggle/laugh and it is the bessssttttttt ever. His smile is so cute I can’t handle it. I love talking to him and will do anything to make him laugh, no matter how ridiculous I look. He also loves our ceiling fan downstairs and we often joke that it is his best friend, since there’s no one else around (#SIPjokes). Around 10 weeks he let out his first excited squeal while staring at the fan going round and round and it was so stinkin’ cute.

Bath time is another favorite. He is so chill when we put him in the water. Cam is a SNUGGLE BUG and loves to be held. He likes his pacifier but spits it out on accident sometimes, so mom & dad spend a lot of time rushing to try to put it back in his mouth before he wakes up. One of my favorite parts of the day is getting him from a nap, when he is so happy to see me get out of the bassinet and curls into my shoulder for some sleepy extra love. We’re still going on daily walks, which is probably more for our benefit than his.

Cam is starting to be quite chatty and loves telling us stories through lots of grunts, arm waving, and furrowed eyebrows. He has found his hands and loves to suck on them. I think he is pre-teething because the drool is unreal over here. We’ve been playing some throwback jams and dancing around with him. I think my best hits have been Mambo Number Five and Miami. Mike and I have discovered we have very different taste in music…

Overall things have been tricky given COVID – and the general adjustment to having a new little roommate – but Cam is “the best baby ever,” to directly quote me and Mike basically everyday. He is so fun to hang out with and watch grow. I can’t wait to share him with our friends & family. Until then we’ll just be here snuggling, chatting, listening, and loving our favorite guy.

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