In college when most of my friends were rushing to join sororities and eating breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks at the cafeteria instead of at home, I was still hung up on high school. I mourned my freshmen through senior year far longer than just the summer before college. (And far longer than any of my friends seemed to!) Granted, while the majority of my core group of friends in high school traveled to Southern California for college, I stayed at home. I didn’t have the change in scenery they did to distract me from missing the days when I got to see them everyday in class and in between classes and after school and on the weekends. A part of me felt I was still stuck in the past, longing for something I would never get back.
It was like everyone was moving on with their lives and, for some reason, I didn’t get the memo.
Of course, a ton has changed since my lonely first months in college. I eventually met new friends and developed a new rhythm to my life. However, infuriatingly, I’ve also figured out I’m prone to realizing what a good time I was having after the fact. Specifically, in college, I remember constantly thinking last semester was sooo much better than this one – Every! semester! – instead of enjoying the weeks while I was experiencing them.
It wasn’t until I could reminisce on the memories that I realized how good it all really was.
Now I’m 25 years old, working full-time at a job I like, living with a man I love and overall enjoying my life* …but still feeling that nagging nostalgia for the past from time to time. Except, instead of friends going off to college (well, except by best friend who decided to leave for Nashville/business school #notbitter), they are getting married, having babies, and moving to different states for their Significant Others. …While I’m still here, just wishing everyone could get together for a Because of Nothing BBQ (….or even just to have all of my friends back for my birthday!)
I realize I might sound melodramatic but I think my friends are getting borderline annoyed of the snaps, Facebook messages and texts, telling them how much I miss them. So? to the blog it is….
I’ll go drown my sorrows in ice cream now. 😉
Disclaimer: this post isn’t to say I don’t still have some pretty awesome friends living close to me!
*I think realizing you are happy and enjoying life in the moment is a whole different animal than being able to look back with happiness and enjoyment. The former being significantly harder (at least for me!) than the latter… But, with time, I am getting better at it.